My rewrite has made it once again. I cannot explain how happy and proud of it I am. It is soo much better than my last attempt, and the voice although some look down on third person sounds a lot more believable. Maybe it will change again, the one thing that I do need to figure out is the timing. I am all over the place in that regard, I think before I go any further I’m going to do a time line of events and see what the timing should be and where the characters are going to end up.
Hmm, now the work begins!